15 Years Together......

My Grandparent's 50th, me in the background. 

This is when I knew what I wanted in life, and that

was to be like my grandparents.

When I was 11 years old, I attended my paternal grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary and family reunion. At that celebration, I realized what I wanted in life. I wanted a large family and to be married 50 years too.

I got married for the first time when I was 21. I had two daughters with my first wife and that marriage did not last.

I was devastated and heart-broken as I saw my dream of a large family and 50 years go down the drain.

I dated for awhile, and in time, I met KinDee. She had two boys and our children got along great. I treated her boys well and she treated my girls well, and in time, we decided to make a go of it.

I met KinDee through my cousin Sarah, who introduced me to my first wife as well. This was probably August of 2001. It was before September 11th. I was still driving semi and I didn’t get to see KinDee much, but in time, I eventually took her on a few trips with me. One of the first big trips we took was to Braselton, Georgia. It was the first and only time that KinDee has ever been to Georgia.

It sounds so cliché to say that we’ve had our good times and bad, but that is the truth. Our story was not a fairy tale. There were times that KinDee and I got together and split up. In fact, when Jenna was born, I had no clue as KinDee had left me. I was eating barbecue at Cousin Jeremy Durnan’s home. I didn’t get to see Jenna until she was a week or two old.

My mother asked me to reconcile with KinDee and over time, we worked out our differences and got married 15 years ago today. It has been a hard 15 years, which again sounds cliché as I have yet to see many marriages that are easy. Life is hard if you really think about it.

On the morning that we got married, it was frosty and cold. We drove up to the courthouse and got married by Judge Larry Woods who married me the first time. It was quite informal. I got married the first time in striped bib-overalls. With KinDee, I wore solid blue ones.

Present were our mothers who were witnesses, and my sister Joni and KinDee’s sister Vicky. Afterwards, we came home and had some cake and that was that. We were married the same as those who spent thousands getting married (no disrespect towards those who go that route, but we didn’t have the money to).

Here we are, 15 years later, two more kids later, and our kids now range from 20 to 10. KinDee will be a grandmother in a few months. We won’t do much today. Jenna already bought us some treats and wrote us a touching letter. They want us to leave this afternoon so they can do something nice for us. God bless them.

Back in 1987, I remember my grandfather speaking to someone who commented on looking at all his family 50 years on and Grandpa replied, “If you ain’t got family, you ain’t got shit.” That just about summed it up.

I look at my family, especially now as they grow older, and while I will never have that “large” family that I wanted, nor have I reached that 50 year milestone, I feel the same sense of purpose that Grandpa felt all those years ago. This marriage is really about family and what you leave behind. These 15 years haven’t been for my wife and I as much as it has been for our children.

I pray that my wife and I both live to see 50 years together. Even if we don’t, I cherish the 15 years we’ve spent together and pray for more.

Taken at Jeremy's wedding in 2003 or 2004.

Our family - 2015