Do you ever think of me?

I still think of you. I remember those nights out under the stars. I bared my soul to you. Those nights with you were magical, just laying there, looking up to heaven with you.

I told you that I would have married you and I meant it. Still, all these years later, you are one of three women that I have loved not counting family. I have loved two other women, but none the same as I loved you.

I have thought hard about why things happened the way they did. For me, you loved me one moment, and hated me the next. It made no sense and for years it ate away at me. It wasn’t until I got older that it started to make sense.

I remember our last night together before you left for awhile. I also recall a phone call before that where you felt you might be in “trouble”. I remember a while after that when you told someone’s father that you had the same sort of trouble, which wasn’t true, but I wondered why you had said that.

Yes, years later I have wondered if you were. I wonder if you went and had done what I think you had done. I never knew. I suppose you wanted to protect your reputation. However, I wish you would have gone through instead of ending it. I wish it didn’t have to be the way it turned out. But I don’t blame you.

Long ago, I moved on in life, but it took awhile. I married, had children, and divorced. I remarried again and have had more children. But I have always wondered, “what if?”, but I have accepted my lot in life. It doesn’t matter. I have been blessed with a wonderful family; wonderful children.

If it is as I suspect, I don’t blame you. I did love you. I would have continued loving you.  I will always remember you and the time we spent together, and what may have been. I will take that to my grave.