Benjamin Charles Kane & Sarah Jane Snow

Here are my third great grandparents. On the left is Benjamin Charles Kane. He was born in 1832 in Tennessee. Some say he was born in Kentucky, but we believe it to be Tennessee. These photos were graciously provided to me by cousin Carol Long from Illinois. Supposedly Ben took this photo in haste as he was preparing for the Civil War and  forgot the price tag on the hat. Ben Kane died in July 1885 and is buried in the Whig Cemetery outside of Platteville, Wisconsin. On the right is Sarah Jane Snow. She was born in Massachusetts, some say New York, in May of 1938. It is said that she died on December 16th, 1912, but I don't believe that. I have seen no proof of her death and that date is the day her son George Winthrop Kane died. I have proof of his death. I do not know where Sarah Jane is buried. This is one of my top priorities. If anyone has any information on her, please contact me here in the comments. One other thing that I would really like to know is who that is in the picture around her neck? I think it's her father, Winthrop Snow, but it may be Ben Kane or her second husband, John B. Cardy. I don't think it looks like either husband which leads me to believe it may be her father whom I've never seen a photo of. I would appreciate any info on her parents too. I have them totally disappearing off of the radar after 1885. I would also like to have more info on Benjamin's family. I know he had three other siblings, two brothers and a sister. The sister married a Coates. The one brother owned a mine and was supposedly killed in a cave in, and the other, Francis (Frank) got married and was a carpenter around the Potosi area up until 1910. Ben's parents were Bartlett Kane (spelled Cain) and a woman named Lydia. I would like to know who this Lydia was. Any information on this family line would be appreciated. 

Kane brothers with their mother in the 1890's

The above photo was graciously sent to me by Carol Long. She is descended from Edward Jefferson Kane. The above photo is of the Kane brothers taken sometime in the 1890's with their mother. In the back row, from left to right are James Henry Kane, Edward Jefferson Kane, Benjamin Alvin Kane, and Walter Kane. In the front row, from left to right are George Winthrop Kane, Sarah Jane Snow, their mother, Charles Vernon Kane, and Harvey Kane. Their two sisters are not in this photo. The oldest was passed away by this time as was their father. Their mother would have been married to John B. Cardy by this time. My 2nd great grandfather is James Henry Kane. My wife's 2nd great grandfather is George Winthrop Kane. Carol Long is descended from Edward Jefferson Kane. If anyone has any information on this family, please contact me here. One of the things that I am hoping to learn from someone is when Sarah Jane died and where she is buried. Her date of death is listed as December 16th, 1912 on most people's family trees. However, that is the day that her son George Winthrop passed away, and I have his date of death verified. I don't have a stitch of evidence on her death.

UPDATE: I see I haven't updated this in some time. I have since found evidence of Sarah Jane's death. She indeed did die on December 16th, 1912 of chronic bronchitis and myocarditis; contributing cause was inactivity. However, she did not die at Platteville as others had written, but instead died at Marshfield, Wisconsin, where her son Harvey was living at the time. In a small death notice that I discovered, it said that she had lived at Cumberland previously. That was where her son Walter was living at this time. So, I believe that after her husband died in the fall, she moved to Walter's home, then for some unknown reason, moved in with Harvey, where she died. It says her remains were taken to Platteville for burial, but it does not say where. Is she beside her husband at the Whig Cemetery? Is she beside her parents wherever they may be buried?

 

Got word from Kane cousin, Janet Hamilton, that a friend of hers went to Madison and found the following information there regarding Sarah.

Sara J. Cardy born May 1838 in Philadelphia, and died December 16, 1912 at Marshfield, Wisconsin, age 73 yrs, 8 months.

Father was W. Snow and Mother was Abigail Gill, both born in Philadephia. Infoprmant was Harvey Kane, Marshfield. Cause of death was chronic bronchitis and myocarditis; contributing cause was inactivity. Sara was buried at Platteville.

Reference Reel 1912, 71N, #89 Wood County, Bureau of Vital Statistics, Madison, Wisconsin.

Being born in Philadelphia is contrary to all other accounts that we have of her place of birth. She mainly gives Massachusetts as her place of birth, and I have seen New York given as well. We know her mother is Abigail Goodale, and I can see how it can be mistakenly written down as Gill. The rest of the information appears correct. Her son Harvey was living in Marshfield at the time. Her husband, John Cardy died earlier in 1912 and her son George W. died a year earlier. It states that she is buried in the Platteville Cemetery, but it doesn't mention which one, and I cannot find her in either Hillside or Greenwood's records.

Freeing up "unknown space" on my hard drive.

Last February, I bought a 320 GB hard drive to add to my computer. My main drive was 70 GB, but it was filling up fast with pictures and music. I also upgraded my XP machine to Vista Home Premium. I labeled my second Hard Drive X: (for extra). I pointed everything to my X drive. I told system restore and my backup to put everything there. This was the start of my problem which culminated here today. Over time, more and more of my hard drive was getting gobbled up. I was putting more and more photos, videos, and music on there too. What I didn't realize was that space was being gobbled up faster than what should have been. Here the other day, I finally dipped below 100 GB of free space. I started to look through everything that I had to see what I could delete. This is when I noticed that everything that I could see only totaled about 45 GB. Now, I have my virtual memory and IE Explorer cache using space on my X drive too, and I'm well aware that they gobble up some space. However, I was looking at a discrepancy of about 150 GB. I did some research into this and didn't find very good answers. I did the whole Shadow Copy route, but that proved unfruitful because my shadow copies were now being stored on my X drive, and no matter what syntax I was using, it wasn't recognizing any shadow copies on that drive, so it wouldn't delete them. I used the Windows Disk Cleanup utility and that proved fruitless as well. What I had to do was follow the procedures given on this link: CLICK HERE. I shut off disk backup and system restore first, then I rebooted. Once rebooted, I right clicked on my X drive and followed the procedures given on the above link. Once I followed those procedures for gaining full access over everything, my folder labeled OEM went from O bytes to about 150 GB. It contained two folders that were labeled backup and had some dates behind that. I deleted them and recovered my lost space. I'm not sure which combination allowed me to be able to see the files and to have access to delete them, but I know it wasn't the Shadow Copy route or the Disk Utility route. I had to do all that mumbo jumbo given on the link above and then shut my backup and system restore stuff off. I had to reboot. After right clicking on my X drive in the My Computer screen, I did the stuff from that link I just gave and only then was I able to find and see the files that I needed to delete. Since I now had full control, I could delete them easily and I freed up over 150 GB of space. If you find that you're having difficulty freeing up your "unknown space", try the confusing, but effective instructions from that link and hopefully you'll be able to free up your space as well.

William Anderson Kaump

     William Anderson Kaump was born November 17th, 1839 near Big Patch, Wisconsin. His parents were John W. Kaump and Phebe Flynn. He served as a corporal in Company H of the 25th Wisconsin Regiment during the Civil War. He married Clarissa Druen on October 5th, 1865 in Wisconsin. He was a miner for most of his life. He also spent some time out in Nebraska and was farming out there, but returned to Wisconsin where he spent the rest of his life. In his later years, he had a small acreage on the southeast side of Cuba City. This is where he died. His final occupation; the one listed on his death certificate, was that of a gardener. He was also a beekeeper in his later years. The photo above is taken at a beekeepers convention that was held in southwest Wisconsin. More information on the photo is below. William A. Kaump died on Christmas Day, 1895. He is buried at the Mt. Pleasant Cemetery at Cuba City, Wisconsin.


His wife died on June 1st, 1910 at Amherst, Wisconsin, where she was staying with her daughter Eva Heffernan. Their children were; Ida Mae Kaump, William Henry Kaump, George Samuel Kaump, Wilfred Emmanuel Kaump, Mary Ellen Kaump, and Eva Pearl Kaump.

     William Kaump would be my third great grandfather. My maternal grandfather is William Kane. His father was Fred Kane, son of James Kane and Ida Kaump; Ida Kaump being William's eldest daughter.


Below is the source photo and information that I have for the above photo:

Brake Headache

I have been noticing some un-normal things going on with the brakes in Hercules. I first noticed squeaking every time I pressed on the brakes. I I took it to the folks who would do tire work for me and they said that I had really good brakes. I chalked it up to road dirt and grime. Then I started noticing a vibration in the pedal when the brakes were applied. I again took it in to be looked at and was told that the brakes were fine. They looked at me like I was complaining just to complain. Then started the grinding noise from the back. I jacked it up myself and took the tire off and lo and behold, the pad on the passenger side was 99.9%. It was almost metal on metal. The squeaker was worn clean off. The upside was that the rotor was still good. There was just barely enough pad that it protected the rotor enough that I could reuse it. I am tired of people not working on my vehicles correctly. I used to do my own brakes all the time, especially disc brakes. I'm not comfortable doing my own drum brakes without someone's help, but disc are a cinch. I tore into it and the first thing I noticed was how hard it was to take the bolts off. That's because they're all Loctited on. I have never used Loctite on brake calipers. I don't care if it's a Geo Prism or a 1 ton truck, if you tighten your bolts good enough, odds are, they'll stay put. I even find myself in the camp of people who use anti-seize on the bolts. I also pull the bleeders and use a very thin layer of anti-seize on them too. I've never had trouble with it in all of my years, even on ABS systems. When I got to the other side of the truck, I noticed the pads had over half left. Upon closer inspection, the brakes were seized in the holders and hadn't worked in some time. I had to pound the piss out of them to get them out of the holders. Since they hadn't been working, rust had built up worse on that caliper vs. the other side and the metal was starting to corrode and rot. What a mess. I figured I would go get the parts and save myself a lot of money. I attaked the problem "old school" style. I bought all the components separately. I saw complete caliper kits available for $70, but I figured the calipers were good. The rubbers looked good on them and there wasn't any sign of fluid anywhere on them, so they should have been re-usable. However, the corrosion that had accumulated on the non-working brake unit proved too much for the bleeder as it was corroded beyond saving. Here's a breakdown of the job and expense:

 Rear Brake Job




Brake Pads - $23

Caliper Hardware Kit – $17

New Bleeders - $4

New Caliper Slide Pins - $9

Impact Socket, T55 - $5.50

2 Qts. Brake Fluid – $8.50

New Caliper and bracket* - $62.00



Total - $129



This doesn’t include 3 trips to West Union for various parts and tools, two trips to Arlington to have calipers put in a vise and bolts broke loose (thank you Uncle Mike), nor the several drill bits that I broke trying to drill out the bleeder valve. My feet were frozen, I was chilled to the bone, and I inhaled more rust, salt, and brake dust than I care to have inhaled. It took nearly 2 ½ days of messing around, and a ton of frustration. I guess in the end, I’m $10 ahead because completely loaded calipers with all new hardware, pads, bolts, etc, are $70 a piece plus tax. That would have been $140 worth of parts, I guess I still would have had to have bought the brake fluid, so I’m like $20 ahead, but I could have had this job done in one trip, saved several drill bits, and had it done in a couple of hours. When it comes time to do the front ones, I’m going to buy the complete caliper sets and be done with it!



* I got the bleeder on the passenger side caliper out fairly easily. I planned on replacing them anyways. The driver’s side one was seized in there and I could not get it out. It didn’t even snap off. It disintegrated. I tried to drill it out and when I got to good steel, it worked the hell out of my drill bits and snapped a few. The threads were seized so bad that I couldn’t get the threads to clean out. I ruined it and had to buy a new caliper. They didn’t have just the caliper, so I had to buy a caliper with a new holder bracket. It was only $7 more than the caliper alone would have cost me.

Two lessons were learned. First, do everything that you possibly can yourself. In other words, don't trust anyone to check your brakes for you. If you can do it yourself, then do it yourself. It isn't their life on the line in they're wrong. It's yours. Secondly, if the calipers are corroded, it's easier to buy complete caliper kits that can be slapped on by simply removing two 18MM bolts and a brake line and reversing the procedure followed by bleeding the system. You'll save yourself a lot of time and hassle. 

Obituary – Mrs. T. J. Durnan (genealogy)

“How pleasing in the sight of God is the death of one of his saints.” Text chosen by the Rev. T.J. Enzler of Oelwein in conducting the funeral services of Mrs. T. J. Durnan, during the absence of her pastor, Rev. Halpin.
The words bespeak the life and death of Mrs. T. J. Durnan, formerly Annie Schmit. Born April 13, 1875, and who resigned her soul unto her maker on June 12, 1929.
She was united in marriage to Thos. J. Durnan on August 17, 1904. To this union were born four children; Philip, James, Harry and Nellie. She leaves to mourn these four children, her husband, four brothers and four sisters.
Although her body is consigned to the grave, and her soul to the life everlasting; the influence which her life has cast, was marked by the many friends, that filled to its doors, the Immaculate Conception church at Fairbank on Friday June 14, to pay their last tribute of respect and love.
She was always a silent admirer of children and was loved by all children with whom she came in contact. During her last illness some of her most enjoyable moments were those when the children came to see her. Many of whom, could not see her due to her failing strength.
In her severe sufferings, she would often calm herself in speaking of the children of her neighborhood and of times pleasantly spent in her home; attributes to her name of “True Home Mother.”
Boys always found a welcome in her home and were understood by her as an example to many of us.
It was her wish to be attended by her relatives during her last severe illness; which was faithfully carried out by her own family, especially; also the families of her brothers and sisters.
During the terrible pain, which the dreaded disease of cancer carries with it; she was ever comforted by her belief in the teachings of the Catholic church, of which she was a faithful member from infancy. During attacks of the most severe pain, she would breathe the words: “Jesus crucified; have mercy on me.” In these words she always found strength to bear her pain.
She was brought from St. Mary’s hospital at Rochester on Feb. 11, where she had an operation on Jan. 14, to the home of her brother, A. J. Schmit at Oran, because blockaded roads made it impossible to be taken to her home, and she was never able to be moved again.
She was never a day without seeing some of her family, and when the nights became wakeful, it was her wish to be attended by one of her immediate family, and one other relative, who watched continuously through the long night hours in token of sincere affection.
It had always been her wish that her deathbed would be attended by her husband and four children; also by her four brothers and four sisters (between whom she was the connecting link). On Friday June 7, she realized that her soul was soon to take its flight to her God. She asked that she might have the last rights of her religion, which she was granted by Rev. T. J. Enzler. Then after a last farewell to her family, she was filled with a holy longing to meet her creator.
Still she lingered in this longing for several days, in the meantime, two brothers from a distance came home. She was able to take her last farewell with them. During all of this her own family stayed constantly with her and on Tuesday evening, prayed with her while her soul peacefully departed to its eternal home.
She was of a quiet disposition but silently won the admiration of all who came in contact with her, especially those who were in religious or medical attendance during the last weeks of her sufferings.
Her great appreciation for the slightest act done for her will never be forgotten by those who cared for her, and the ready smile with which she greeted all who attended to her was a mark of her appreciation.
The surviving brothers and sisters are; Peter P. Schmit, New Richmond, Wis.; Anthony J. Schmit of Oran; John M. Schmit, Motley, Minn.; Philip F. Schmit of Fairbank; Teresa B. Hickory; Katie B. Kane; Misses Mary and Lizzie Schmit of Oran. Besides these she leaves many nephews and nieces to whom she was very dear; also other relatives and friends.
Relatives who attended the funeral were Mr. Lawrence Testin and family, Mrs. Kate Testin and family of Joliet, Ill,; J. J. Durnan and wife, also J. P. Durnan and daughter of Fulda, Minn,; Peter Graff of Akron, Ia.; Mr. and Mrs. J. J. Brennan and son of Waterloo.
Transcribed by Eric E. Durnan, the obituary of Anna Schmit Durnan, wife of Thomas J. Durnan taken from the Oelwein Daily Register, Monday, June 24th, 1929 edition.

Fatal Auto Crash Wrecks Train, John Fettkether Obituary (Genealogy)

Dunkerton Farmer Killed; Four Cars, Station Burn by Robert Knoedler, Courier Staff Writer.

Dunkerton, la - John Fettkether, 71, Dunkerton farmer, was killed early Thursday when his car crashed into the side of a northbound Chicago Great Western freight train just southwest of Dunkerton, and as a result of the crash, nine cars of the train were derailed, three of them were burned at the Dunkerton passenger-freight depot which was burned to the ground. The crash occurred about 12:20 a.m. Thursday as Fettkether was returning alone from Dunkerton to his home a mile west. Although there were no witnesses to the crash, trainmen believed that Fettkether’s auto struck an oil car near the end of the 67-car train and the force of the impact sheared a wheel flange on the train car causing the wheels to leave the rails. By the time the cars had reached the depot area about 1,000 feet down the track it is thought the sparks from the derailed wheels set fire to the following tank car filled with gasoline.


Gasoline Car Explodes


The gasoline exploded setting fire to the depot and to three cars. Also, the force of the explosion apparently uncoupled the last eight cars of the train all of which were derailed. The train continued another 500 feet before it was stopped. The depot burned to the ground and at least three of the derailed cars were completely destroyed by the fire. No one was at the depot at the time. One of the tank cars was filled with fuel oil and two box cars were filled with fiber board material. A third boxcar not damaged by the fire was loaded with cement. An empty passenger coach and the train caboose were derailed but not heavily damaged. Approximately 400 feet of track was ripped up and several hundred more was damaged.


Loss may be $15,000


Total loss may run between $10,000 and $15, 000 it was believed. C. J. Foster, Des Moines superintendent of the Iowa Division of the Great Western said that the station represented a loss of approximately $2,500 but that no estimate of damage to the equipment nor the extent of loss to contents of cars derailed was available at his office as investigators from the division office were still checking. Foster said communication lines had been disrupted by the wreck.


George Hoffman, wrecking crew foreman, said he expected to have the track cleared and repaired by Thursday evening. Meanwhile, all Chicago Great Western trains between Sumner and Waterloo were being detoured through Waverly over Illinois Central tracks.


Fettkether’s body was discovered on the highway at the crossing by his son in law, Ernest Youngblut was was returning to his home northwest of Dunkerton just after the train had passed.


Funeral Probably Saturday

Funeral Services for John Fettkether Thursday had been tentatively set for 9:30 a.m. Saturday in St. Francis Catholic church, Dunkerton. Rev. Fr. Louis Gerleman will officiate and burial will be in Fairbank, Iowa cemetery. The body was removed to the Brant Funeral Home, Oelwein, Thursday.


John Fettkether was born October 30th, 1872 in Dubuque county Iowa, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Lewis (supposed to be Louis) Fettkether. He came with his parents to a farm near Readlyn, Iowa where he attended country schools and was later associated with his father in farming. He was married May 4th, 1898 at Fairbank, Iowa to the former Hannah Shade. The moved to the present farm home three years later. Mrs. Fettkether died November 2nd, 1937.


Seven Children Survive


Survivors include seven children; Oren, at home, Paul, San Diego, Cal,; Mrs. Leo Sadler, Jesup, Ia.; Hugh, Jesup, and Mrs. Leonard Youngblut and Mrs. Herbert Sondag all of Dunkerton. There are 22 grandchildren.


Also surviving are one brother, David, Hazleton, Iowa; and five sisters, Mrs. John Reith, Oran, Ia., Mrs. Charles Durnan, Mrs. John Kane, and Mrs. Earle Richards, all of Fairbank, Iowa, and Mrs. Ida West, Waterloo. A daughter and one sister and four brothers preceded him in death.






Transcribed by Eric E. Durnan. Taken from the October 19th, 1944 Waterloo Daily Courier, front page.

Lisa turns 13

Lisa on her second birthday in 1999.

Today is my daughter Lisa’s 13th birthday. She was my first child. Her mother was my first wife, Colleen. This wasn't Colleen's first kid. Colleen had a set of twins when I met her. This was Colleen’s second pregnancy though. Colleen insisted on having the baby in Waukon. I would come to insist on the same myself thereafter. Veteran’s Memorial Hospital is one of the best small hospitals that I have been in.


Lisa was about a week late. Colleen was using a Dr. Richard Perry at the time. He was a good doctor. Very good actually. He induced Colleen and she warned him that when she was induced for the twins, she gave birth quickly. There is a clinic that was nearby that Dr. Perry also saw patients in and he wanted to go over to the clinic to see his patients so he had the nurses monitor Colleen. Remember, this is my first child. I have never seen a baby being born; human baby that is. I’ve seen all sorts of animals being born. I expected some blood. I expected some slime. No problem. I was a hardened farm boy.

Well, as predicted, Colleen started going through labor quickly. She was dilating rapidly. She was acting really weird, writhing about and making noises that I didn’t think a human could make. I was starting to get spooked. The nurses didn’t help either. They were panicking. They couldn’t get Dr. Perry to answer the phone over in the clinic and they had a baby coming out right now! They begged Colleen not to push, but Colleen wouldn’t have any of it. This kid was coming out! One good push and Lisa popped out. I about fainted.

Actually, I wouldn’t say that I about fainted, rather, I about had a heart attack. The nurse exclaimed some expletive and dropped the phone and tried to do a football receiver style catch. It was a good thing that the end of the bed was still up or Lisa would have ended up on the floor. The nurse even failed to catch her. Lisa had the blondest of blonde hair when she was born. It was actually closer to white than blonde. Put that under the slimy stuff that has a yellowish hue and it looked sort of neon; as if it belonged on a character from H.R. Pufnstuf. I expected a pink baby, not the color that was lying there before me. Lisa was a purplish color. Contrast that with the neon whitish yellow hair, and she was totally not what I expected or had ever seen before. Now, as if that wasn’t bad enough, she started crying on her own, but it wasn’t a normal cry. It was a gurgling sound. She looked pissed off - as if she had been really comfortable lounging out in her mother’s abdomen and someone came and kicked her out of bed at 3 a.m. She was sort of shaking. The whole picture looked like she was half alien – half demon. Then to top this all off, Lisa looked like me. A miniature me, in odd colors, looking half alien – half demon, acting more like the demon, .....and she looked....like .....ME!  It was more than I could process at that moment. I was scared and freaked out. I wanted to get away. I found no beauty in this. I tried to back away from the bed. I couldn’t. There was a wall behind me. I kept trying to back up and get away. I was in total disbelief. My feet were moving but I wasn’t.

The nurse said, “She’s so beautiful.” I asked if that was normal. The nurse tried to reassure me that it was normal to be that color. You could have fooled me.

“Do you want to cut her umbilical cord?” the nurse asked. No way. I didn’t want to go near her. She really freaked me out. I was in shock.

The doctor finally came up and I watched him and the nurse get into an argument. Dr. Perry sounded like he was criticizing the nurse for this mishap. The nurse was pissed off. I heard the nurse say to him, “What did you expect me to do, shove her back in there until YOU were ready?”

I asked for a different doctor, much to the nurse’s delight. She said that she couldn’t tell me which doctor they prefer, but she asked me to notice the smile on her face when I asked for Dr. Schwartz. Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with Dr. Schwartz, he is a minor saint in my book. He’s really good with people, kids, and the staff around him. I have never seen him be condescending towards anyone. In fact, I’ve sat outside the hospital with him while he visited with me while he ate what appeared to be a liverwurst sandwich. I have used him for every child of mine since. My second wife was apprehensive to use a new doctor, but she too became a believer in him. She wouldn’t use anyone else now either.

It took awhile before I would even hold Lisa. It was a traumatic experience for me. I was totally unprepared for her arrival, or at least the way she arrived. For the record, I am the father of five kids and I have left the room for every child since Lisa. I don’t sit in there and watch the kid come out. I ask the nurse to let me know when they get the kid cleaned up, and then I’ll go see my new baby. When Brandi (my #2) was born (after a terribly long delivery) the nurse was pretty snippy with me for not wanting to be in the room when Brandi was born. I think Dr. Schwartz explained it to her later though as she chilled out. When my son Sean was born, Dr. Schwartz told me that I might want to get out of the room while the getting was good. God bless him. 


Lisa in October 2010.

  




Lisa has grown into a beautiful young lady. She will have a funny story to tell her grandchildren some day.

Daylight Savings Time

Why do we all switch our clocks forward and back? I understand that the hours of daylight changes between summer and winter. I remember as a child watching news pieces showing children getting on the bus in the dark, so they showed that by setting the clocks back one hour, the kids could get on the bus in the light. Why switch the clocks to accomplish this?



Have you ever seen those videos on Sesame Street, or other children’s shows where the characters cannot see the obvious? There used to be these bugs in Ernie’s window that just couldn’t see the obvious until they exhausted all other options in futility. Generally this meant that something got destroyed or ruined before it dawned on them what the correct thing to do was. Old comedy routines in movies and television (before profanity and shock became the norm) used to rely upon this time honored human fault as well. Sometimes we do things the hard way. Switching the clocks is the hard way. Want to know an easier way?



How about just starting school one hour later? How about doing the same for government agencies? If we could convince a few large employers to adjust their schedules as well, most everyone else would follow suit. While switching to this form of adjustment has its own challenges, it would be easier in the technical aspect. No clocks to change. No new code to write for computer programs. No trying to figure out what time it is where (other than the time zone differences that already exist). Isn’t it time we switch to an easier way to adjust time? I would rather adjust my schedule than adjust my clock.

8 Years and Counting……

On October 23rd, my wife and I will celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. I’ve loved her longer than that though. I’ve paid the price to love KinDee. I made a vow to her to love her for better or for worse. I’ve experienced both over the past 9 years that I’ve known her. I’ve shared the joy of our children with her and felt the bitter pain of her betrayal. It’s these things that have made me love her more. It’s easy to love someone when the times are good. When you love someone through the tough times, it’s then that you realize just how much you love that person. My first marriage ended in divorce and my current one nearly did. I’m very thankful that my wife and I are still married. We wouldn’t be together today if I didn’t love her as much as I do. We also wouldn’t be married today if my wife didn’t love me tremendously in return. I realize that my wife loves me more than what the world has to offer her. I just thought I’d take a moment to sum up my 9 years with my wife, 8 of those years being married.

I met my wife through my cousin Sarah in August of 2001. KinDee and I never dated. I had been separated from my first wife for nearly 2 years. KinDee was living alone across town. I ended up renting my cousin Sarah’s house. One of the first things I did was send Sarah over to KinDee’s to borrow a bar of soap. I figured she had two sons, she was bound to have a bar of soap that I could borrow. I started seeing KinDee on and off from then on. In November of that year, KinDee became pregnant with Jenna. It’s a good thing that KinDee and I liked each other. From that time on, KinDee left me a couple of times. I finally said enough and wouldn’t let her back into my life. In May of 2002, my divorce became final. In July of 2002, Jenna was born. I didn’t know about Jenna until a week later. My mother begged me to take KinDee back and I did. She hasn’t physically left me since. KinDee moved in with me in late August of 2002. Up until this time, she still had her apartment across town. In October of that year, I married KinDee. I believe in marriage. At our wedding, her mother hugged me and asked me to take care of her daughter. I promised her that I would. KinDee had a tough custody battle in December of 2002 and lost. It nearly tore us apart. In 2003, Pixly came to live with us. We finally had a teenager stirring the pot. In October of 2003, we started looking at buying a house. In November of that year, our son Sean was born. We finally bought our home in June of 2004. I would rather go through another divorce than buy another house! Things were pretty stable from that point on, but in 2004, my health started declining. By 2005, Pixly had moved out and my health declined further. It was getting harder for me to work. I converted to Catholicism following the death of Pope John Paul II. KinDee did not. By the end of 2005, I had decided to quit driving truck because of my health. KinDee had to start working in order to pay the bills. In January of 2006, KinDee went to work. I quit driving full time in February 2006. We soon were expecting our third child together. Things were really bad between her and the father of her two oldest. We petitioned the court again in the spring of 2006. In December of 2006, our daughter Karen was born. 2007 was a rough year. I stayed home with Karen while KinDee worked. My health continued to fail and we went into court in July of that year and lost again. This nearly tore us apart again, and in fact, little did I know, but it really did on KinDee’s part.

In late 2007, we were facing foreclosure on the home and things weren’t that good. I quit driving altogether in July of 2007 and we solely relied on KinDee for income. I was awaiting a Social Security hearing. We were able to get our finances straightened out with some financial help, and starting in 2008, I had a health crisis where I was suffering from heart failure. 2008 was a pretty rotten year. KinDee and I didn’t get along all that well. I attributed it to stress and the fact that she worked third and I slept at night. By the end of 2008, my health had stabilized some, yet we were very distant. I won my Social Security case in December of 2008.



In early 2009, I was able to get my teeth all pulled. My teeth were in bad shape and were killing me. I nearly died during surgery. Financially, we were stable, but I needed KinDee’s help more and more as my health was getting worse. I thought that things were getting better between her and I, but rumors were coming in that my wife was having an affair. On May 7th, 2009, my wife finally admitted to me that she was having an affair with a co-worker from late 2007 onwards. This devastated me.



I know some view this as airing out dirty laundry, but I think it’s an important story to tell. I loved my wife. I never quit loving her. I could have easily divorced her right then and there. I had the money to divorce her. I actually filed for divorce because KinDee was telling me that she wanted to leave. I also had to protect myself. You cannot love someone that refuses to have you love them. Plus, it’s dangerous being in a relationship with someone who claims they no longer love you. She was served with divorce papers and she looked long and hard at them. I told her that I didn’t want her to leave. I told her that I would divorce her if I had to, but preferred that she make changes in her life. She initially refused, but after receiving those divorce papers, she decided otherwise.

In the time since, KinDee has converted to Catholicism, retooled her thinking, and made amends with me. It has been a very long and difficult road and it’s still not back to normal. I do love her though and going through this difficulty has shown me just how much I love her. I’ve kept my promise to her mother. I’ve taken care of KinDee and I continue to love her even though it hasn’t always been easy. That’s what love is. Anyone who has children, especially older ones knows exactly what I mean. You love your children even when they hurt you. I love my wife the same way. It doesn’t mean that I condone the hurtful things that she’s done. It just means that she’s not just something that is disposable in my life; an object to be thrown away when its usefulness has run its course. It’s been a long hard 8 years. I love my wife more now that I did 8 years ago. How many people say that in today’s world? Only those of us who have been through the hard times and know what real love is. Happy Anniversary, Mother. May we celebrate many more.

John B. Cardey's Civil War Letter

                             Click on image above for larger size.

     This letter was written by John B. Cardey from Murfreesboro hospital during the Civil War. It gives a personal glimpse into his life. He might have been having family problems at the time, or maybe letters were having trouble getting through, but you can hear the insecurity that John has in this letter. His wife was Mary Ann Griffith. They remained married until she died around 1887. John went on to marry Sarah Jane Snow who was Ben Kane's widow after the death of Mary Ann Griffith. In this letter, we see John mention running into Ben Cain (Kane). Thanks to Carl P. Cardey for providing this letter to me. The transcription of the letter is below.

John Benjamin Cardey

John B. Cardey was an interesting character to say the least. His parents were John Cardey Sr. and Nancy Jane Pond. He was born in New York and his father brought him to Wisconsin when he was young. He was drafted into the Civil War and fought for the Union. Here are a few of his photos. John B. Cardey was best friend to Benjamin Kane, my third great grandfather. He married Ben Kane's wife after Ben Kane died. John B. Cardey is also third great grandfather to my wife KinDee. The photo on the upper left is a younger photo of John. The photo on the upper right is a photo of him when he was younger. It was taken at a Civil War Veteran Reunion. Thanks goes to Carl P. Cardey for those pictures. The photo below is of John B. Cardey in his Civil War outfit.

Clarence and Lavina Kane

Here's a photo of Clarence and Lavina Kane with their children. I'm not sure the year this picture is taken. Clarence is the son of George Winthrop Kane and Jessie G. Hubler. Clarence is the father of Ruth Kane, my wife's paternal grandmother. Lavina is Lavina McPhail, daughter of Taylor McPhail and Fannie Ellenora Cardey. Fannie Cardey was the daughter of John B. Cardey and Mary Ann Griffith. John B. Cardey went on to marry Sarah Jane Snow, Clarence Kane's paternal grandmother. Confused yet? Clarence and Lavina's grandfathers were both Civil War Veterans and best friends. When Clarence's grandfather and Lavina's grandmother died, Lavina's grandfather married Clarence's grandmother. The better twist is that my wife is descended from this family and I am descended from the Kane family. My third great grandfather is Clarence's grandfather. My third great grandmother married my wife's third great grandfather. It can be crazy confusing! The names of the individuals is on the picture below.

Real Love

Many people today don’t even know what love really is. They seem to have it confused with infatuation. I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve heard women say that they’re looking for a guy that makes them feel butterflies in their stomach. That’s not love, that’s infatuation. I hear guys talk about not having enough fun with their wives. They seek out other women to have sex with. That’s not love, that’s infatuation. Real love isn’t instantaneous. Real love is a process. It happens over time. Real love comes long after the infatuation phase passes. Real love is looking at your spouse, several years into the marriage and seeing their faults, and still loving them. Real love is forgiving your spouse after they’ve hurt you. Real love is sacrificing for your spouse at your own expense, and not expecting anything in return for it. Real love is wanting to see your spouse become a better person. Not just the person that you want them to be, but the best person God intended them to be. Real love is being bored with your spouse, but still wanting to be with them. Real love is loving your spouse the same that you would your parents or your children. Real love is being honest with your spouse, and not lying to them. Real love is not wanting to hurt your spouse and when you do, you feel horrible for it. Real love is praying for your spouse, and asking God to bless them. Real love is losing your spouse, and feeling that a part of you is gone forever. Real love is the same sort of love that God has for us. It’s sacrifice, forgiveness, and being selfless. Real love is building your treasure in heaven. It doesn’t happen overnight. Real love takes a lifetime.

Brownie

     I have three vehicles that I currently own. Last year, after I discovered my wife's affair, I sold the two vehicles that we owned. I had two nice Chrysler minivans. One was a 1997 and the other was a beautiful 2002 with low miles. I just couldn't ride in vehicles where I knew my wife had been with another man repeatedly. I had just gotten done sticking over $2000 in the 1997 so that it was almost like a new van. It made me sick to sell them, but thinking about what went on in those vehicles made me sicker. For the 2002, I traded it for a 1990 Chevy 4X4 pickup (named Charlie) and a 1982 Chevy full size conversion van that we named "Brownie". The pickup was rough, but the Chevy van was in pretty good shape for the age. Actually, it was in better than good shape; it was near mint. That may not be saying much to those who shudder at the thought of a big brown full sized van as opposed to a sports car or sporty pickup, but to me, a van aficionado, it meant a lot. This van was in such good shape, that it appeared it had hardly been used. There was no sun fading, fabric fading, paint fading, cracking or peeling. It was rust free. It didn't have any rust on the body or the frame. The steering wheel wasn't worn anywhere. Everything in the van was tight, like it was fairly new. This van looked like it dropped out of 1985 or 1986. The engine ran like it was new. It's a 305 High Output with a 4 barrel carburetor. I was leery at first because old carburetors are notorious for leaking and just plain being screwed up. They aren't cheap to repair anymore either! I hit the key on this van and the engine came to life without even touching the gas pedal. The 305 purred. It ran so smooth and quiet. You could hardly hear it run. I drove it. It ran just like it would have back in the mid eighties. I couldn't believe it! It was like this van came out of a museum or something. I like old things. I still listen to my music on vinyl. I go to cemeteries for fun. I like old houses. I like old furniture. I like old people for that matter too. This van was old and in very good shape. I fell in love. I have tried to describe this van to my friends and I have gotten used to their yawning about it. To them, it's an old brown van. To me, it's living history. When I can hop in this van and hit the key without touching the gas pedal, it's a beautiful thing to me. When I hear the thing run quiet like it would have from the factory, it's music to my ears. When I smell that old gassy exhaust that those vans put out (think of the old gasoline bus exhaust smell from childhood), it's delightful to my nose. It's about the same to me as watching steam locomotives running down the rails today. People come out of the woodwork and stand by the rail sidings snapping pictures of these locomotives when they are out running on display. That's the brown van for me. While my old Chevy van isn't quite the relic that a locomotive is, it is getting rarer to find such a specimen. Go try finding yourself a four door car from the muscle car era. It's near impossible. Back then, everyone kept the two door models because they were desirable while throwing the four door models into the iron pile. Someday, in the not too distant future, you'll play hell finding these old classic vans that many of our families owned back in the day. If you do, they'll be all beat to hell or modified to such a point that they won't resemble the vans that our parents owned. The old Chevy van that I own is just like it came from the dealership. It isn't modified at all. It's like stepping back in time.

Brownie (1982 Chevrolet G20)

     All of this doesn't mean that the old girl doesn't have her problems. Like those old locomotives that I mentioned, there is a lot of maintenance that goes into this van. We found out from the original owners that this van was only used to go on vacation. It was never a daily driver. It would go months without ever being driven. It was always stored as well, which explains it's immaculate condition. However, time still works on things. It makes things brittle. The speedometer went out shortly after buying it. The tires were dry rotted. The hoses were dry rotted. Anything that was rubber was in pretty poor shape with the exception of the door and window seals. The spring for the latch in the door was brittle and snapped as well. The blower motor switch for the heater is temperamental. I suppose all of those years sitting around wasn't good for it. I'll probably give it the old WD-40 treatment to see if it cures it.

     Last fall, I took the van to Waterloo to see my grandfather. While there, a tire went flat. I thought that we might have ran something over. As it turns out, the tire just split around the bead because of dry rot. I threw a spare on and parked it because I didn't want to drive it in the winter anyhow. I'd go out and start it from time to time all winter long. This spring, I didn't have the money to fix the van up. It just sat outside; that is, until recently. That old 1990 Chevy pickup is getting to be a pain in my ass. I'm just plain sick of it. I want a van back so that way we can all travel somewhere as a family together instead of taking two pickup trucks. I've started the process of replacing all of the old dry rotted rubber. After sitting outside all winter, the fuel pump went bad. Not that it went bad mechanically. It still pumped fuel. The diaphram inside rotted and it pumped gasoline into the crank case. The top radiator hose sprung a leak. The power steering pump is now leaking as well. I'm repairing all of these things so that the old van can be back on the road. I'm going to drive it too. I can't afford to have it sitting around anymore. I need to put it into service. Sadly, it too will start to wear and rust just like all the rest. The only difference is that it will do so almost two decades after it's brethren and I will have the pleasure of driving and caring for a vehicle that my parents would have owned.

Hickory Trees

KinDee, Karen and I went for a drive today. We headed to Oelwein and went out to the Amish. I noticed today how the hickory trees really stood out amongst the others. The leaves on the other trees are all starting to grow pale as the hickory is still a bright green. The hickory tree has a distinct look to it's leaves; sort of clumpy, and spiky looking. They aren't lobed like your oak or maple. They're more like an elm on steroids. I could see the bunches of hickory nuts in the tree. I love the taste of a hickory nut. It's a relative of the pecan. You can substitute hickory nuts for pecans and make a hickory nut pie. The only thing about hickory nuts that I don't like is the hickory worm. When cracking the hickory nut, you will occasionally find a little white grub worm. People say they are great for fishing. I wouldn't know because I refuse to touch anything that looks like a maggot. If you see a small hole in the side of a hickory nut, odds are that a worm bored that hole. Not in, but out. I haven't studied it much, but I think the nut grows around an egg and the worm grows inside. When he's big enough, he bores a hole through the nut shell and goes off and does whatever hickory grub worms do. I'd love to plant a hickory tree in my yard. They're slow growers. I probably wouldn't live long enough to enjoy the tree myself, but my kids would. Unlike a walnut, I don't see those disgusting bag worms taking over hickory trees. I suppose mowing might get to be a challenge. I remember having a bunch of walnut trees when I was a kid. I used to mow and I'd hit those walnuts and send them flying. There was no way around it. You had to be careful that no one was close by when you mowed under the walnut trees, and you had to aim away from the house and cars. I haven't found hickory trees in the nurseries around here. I see the county offers them to farmers for wind breaks, but you have to order a lot of them, and they're spindly little bare root things. I want either a large potted hickory or a ball and burlap specimen. I have these really crappy maples that I would just love to cut down and replace. I hate maples. I also have an elm tree that I like. I'll keep that one. I have a dwarf cherry that's out next to my drive that I planted when I moved here in the summer of 2004. It's only now really starting to take off and produce cherries. They're the tart cherries, not the sweet ones. I wanted a cherry tree because I remember sitting under the one that we had at the Chase Place when I was a kid. I always said that if I bought a home, the first thing I'd do is plant a cherry tree, which I did. I have these giant old pine trees as well. I'm hoping I die before they do. They'd be a real bitch to cut down. If it fell the wrong way and went through my house, it would truthfully cut my house in half. I've also tried planting an Iowa peach tree. It's called an Indian peach, which is actually a native tree to Iowa. According to the lady that I bought the seeds from, it can take a year or two in the ground before the seeds germinate. The first year, the tree will look like a weed. After that, it's supposed to look like a tree and be extremely hardy. She claimed that her husband had mowed down some little ones only to have them return. If anyone's interested in these peach trees, you can read more about them at this link : http://www.localharvest.org/indianiowa-whitefreestone-heirloom-peachtree-C242
If anyone knows where I can get a good locally grown hickory tree, drop me a line.

Using this Blog

I have had this blog since early 2008. A lot sure has happened since then. I've said time and time again that I'm going to use this blog more, but never seem to. Now that Facebook allows me to link this blog to my Facebook page, hopefully I'll see to use this blog like I've been saying I would. I've deleted almost all of my old posts. Looking back through them, I felt many of them just didn't fit anymore. So much has changed in my life since I started this. I've only kept the few posts that really mean something to me. I want to use this blog as sort of a diary. For several years while trucking, I kept a diary of sorts and it's neat to look back at it today, and hopefully my children will enjoy it many years in the future. I hope to use this as a place to write about recovering from my wife's affair. I think the lessons that I've been learning could help others who have to go through this hell. I would like to use this place to write about my journey researching family history. I would like to write about my children, and my wife. I would like to write about God on here, or at least my take on God. There is so much I would love to share. I can also write more on here than Facebook allows. I hope that you all enjoy reading the things that I write on here. God bless. - Eric