15 Years Together......

My Grandparent's 50th, me in the background. 

This is when I knew what I wanted in life, and that

was to be like my grandparents.

When I was 11 years old, I attended my paternal grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary and family reunion. At that celebration, I realized what I wanted in life. I wanted a large family and to be married 50 years too.

I got married for the first time when I was 21. I had two daughters with my first wife and that marriage did not last.

I was devastated and heart-broken as I saw my dream of a large family and 50 years go down the drain.

I dated for awhile, and in time, I met KinDee. She had two boys and our children got along great. I treated her boys well and she treated my girls well, and in time, we decided to make a go of it.

I met KinDee through my cousin Sarah, who introduced me to my first wife as well. This was probably August of 2001. It was before September 11th. I was still driving semi and I didn’t get to see KinDee much, but in time, I eventually took her on a few trips with me. One of the first big trips we took was to Braselton, Georgia. It was the first and only time that KinDee has ever been to Georgia.

It sounds so cliché to say that we’ve had our good times and bad, but that is the truth. Our story was not a fairy tale. There were times that KinDee and I got together and split up. In fact, when Jenna was born, I had no clue as KinDee had left me. I was eating barbecue at Cousin Jeremy Durnan’s home. I didn’t get to see Jenna until she was a week or two old.

My mother asked me to reconcile with KinDee and over time, we worked out our differences and got married 15 years ago today. It has been a hard 15 years, which again sounds cliché as I have yet to see many marriages that are easy. Life is hard if you really think about it.

On the morning that we got married, it was frosty and cold. We drove up to the courthouse and got married by Judge Larry Woods who married me the first time. It was quite informal. I got married the first time in striped bib-overalls. With KinDee, I wore solid blue ones.

Present were our mothers who were witnesses, and my sister Joni and KinDee’s sister Vicky. Afterwards, we came home and had some cake and that was that. We were married the same as those who spent thousands getting married (no disrespect towards those who go that route, but we didn’t have the money to).

Here we are, 15 years later, two more kids later, and our kids now range from 20 to 10. KinDee will be a grandmother in a few months. We won’t do much today. Jenna already bought us some treats and wrote us a touching letter. They want us to leave this afternoon so they can do something nice for us. God bless them.

Back in 1987, I remember my grandfather speaking to someone who commented on looking at all his family 50 years on and Grandpa replied, “If you ain’t got family, you ain’t got shit.” That just about summed it up.

I look at my family, especially now as they grow older, and while I will never have that “large” family that I wanted, nor have I reached that 50 year milestone, I feel the same sense of purpose that Grandpa felt all those years ago. This marriage is really about family and what you leave behind. These 15 years haven’t been for my wife and I as much as it has been for our children.

I pray that my wife and I both live to see 50 years together. Even if we don’t, I cherish the 15 years we’ve spent together and pray for more.

Taken at Jeremy's wedding in 2003 or 2004.

Our family - 2015

Quaker Oats Old-Fashioned Grits

I have tried to figure out exactly what grits are. Everyone seems to know what they are when they are cooked, but nobody can agree on the starting product.  

I suspect a majority of grits served in average restaurants t today are the “Quick Grits” variety. But, what did our ancestors eat? What is this “hominy grits”? Is it actually made from hominy corn that has been dried, then ground? 

I have read that Quaker actually makes hominy grits. I wrote to them for a definitive answer.  

It appears they have a process of removing the germ without going through the whole nixtamalization process. Here is their response:

 

Eric:

Thanks for writing to us about Quaker Enriched White Hominy Grits. We appreciate the chance to respond to your inquiries.

Quaker Grits are made from the milling of corn kernels. The important first step is to clean the kernels. The kernel is then split, which removes the hull and germ, leaving only the broken endosperm. Therefore, Quaker grits are not whole grains. The endosperm is passed through heavy steel rollers, which break it up into granules. The various sizes of granules are separated by a screening process and graded. The large size granules are the grits, while smaller sizes become corn meal or corn flour. For Instant grits, we take raw grits and add vitamins, minerals, salt, and water, then cook the grits. The cooking process removes most of the water, instantizing the grits. Following the cooking process, Quaker Instant grits are dried for packaging.

PFBA - The Future & Automation

The employee complains about “the man.” The employer complains about the cost of labor. In the end, the employers are gaining an upper hand. They have been for some time.

First, companies are able to have their goods manufactured in parts of the world where people live on slave wages at best. These companies can then import those goods back into the United States and sell them cheaper than they sell goods made right here to home. How is it that a television set can sail across the ocean and still sell for less than a television set built here? However it happens, that’s what has taken place. Globalization just pushes the pedal to the floor in the process.

For those companies that cannot import their goods from other countries, namely, service industries and agriculture business, the companies have pushed for lax laws that allow cheap labor to flood into America. These are the illegal immigrants. Those Americans who cry foul, including those in the traditionally organized labor camp, are told that complaining is tantamount to racism. Nobody wants to be a racist, do they? Of course not, so it’s an effective way to quiet the resistance.

Here’s the question. When you have so many Americans sitting out of work, and are trying to automate more jobs, just who will have any money to purchase these goods and services?

These companies have found ways to squeeze more and more out of their labor force and the profits that were once spread across an entire workforce are now being pocketed by those at the top of the corporate ladder. This is evidenced by a truth that hardly anyone disagrees with; the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.

These titans of industry are now turning to the Democratic Party and aligning themselves with socialists. They are calling for people to be given “free” this and “free” that, but none of them are willing to pay higher taxes, or, God forbid, pay higher wages to their employees.

When companies pay a good living wage to their employees, their employees can afford to purchase goods and that is good for the economy. Also, by paying a good wage, employees no longer have to turn to the government for help. Walmart and McDonald’s both pay such low wages that the United States government subsidizes their labor costs. Most McDonald’s and Walmart employees cannot raise a family or live on their wages alone, and therefore turn to heat, health, and food assistance. Walmart’s owners are some of the richest in the world. They have enough money stuffed away that their great grandchildren will be rich. Imagine if that money had been spread amongst their workforce. Think of the savings to the government, aka; You, the taxpayer.

Here are some changes that would make the situation better.

1.      Tax any money not paid out to hourly employees. In other words, if a company makes billions and pays a paltry wage, they will be taxed heavily on that money because odds are, their employees are accepting government assistance. This will encourage companies to pay better wages as opposed to paying taxes. Either way, that money will be spent on the employees. I believe most companies would rather pay the money directly.

2.      Tax automation. If the government taxes automation and uses that money for the poor, many businesses may forgo automation and keep real people employed. The only time machines should be used is for dangerous work, which should be taxed at a low rate. We would rather have robots do dangerous work.

3.      Companies should be taxed for exporting jobs. If a job could be done in America, and it is not, the goods should be taxed to compensate for the under-employed. This could be pegged to the unemployment rate. In other words, if few are unemployed, it may make sense to have items made abroad. If certain items are meant to be made abroad, like Chinese silk, or Pakistani rugs, then that should not be taxed as high. There’s no reason that televisions are made overseas and shipped here cheaper than they can be made here.

We already use our tax system to influence people’s behavior. Corporations are not people. It’s true that they are made up of people who have collectively invested their money, but most corporations are run by a select few people, who in almost every case, are paid astronomical wages compared to most company employees, and they have fantastic benefit and severance packages. This is money that could be used to lift the lifestyles and retirements of their employees, while still allowing those at the top to be filthy rich. The only difference is that they won’t have as many succeeding generations able to inherit the wealth.

I am a capitalist, but a personal capitalist. I am not a corporate capitalist. I am also not a globalist. I believe in being a part of the global system, but I believe in forced diversity. Those who are globalists are trying to homogenize the world, to essentially form a world monopoly of power and influence. A monopoly is not a good thing. While having multiple different governments and systems is a pain in the ass to multi-national corporations, it is good for humanity. Diversity is good.

Do you ever think of me?

I still think of you. I remember those nights out under the stars. I bared my soul to you. Those nights with you were magical, just laying there, looking up to heaven with you.

I told you that I would have married you and I meant it. Still, all these years later, you are one of three women that I have loved not counting family. I have loved two other women, but none the same as I loved you.

I have thought hard about why things happened the way they did. For me, you loved me one moment, and hated me the next. It made no sense and for years it ate away at me. It wasn’t until I got older that it started to make sense.

I remember our last night together before you left for awhile. I also recall a phone call before that where you felt you might be in “trouble”. I remember a while after that when you told someone’s father that you had the same sort of trouble, which wasn’t true, but I wondered why you had said that.

Yes, years later I have wondered if you were. I wonder if you went and had done what I think you had done. I never knew. I suppose you wanted to protect your reputation. However, I wish you would have gone through instead of ending it. I wish it didn’t have to be the way it turned out. But I don’t blame you.

Long ago, I moved on in life, but it took awhile. I married, had children, and divorced. I remarried again and have had more children. But I have always wondered, “what if?”, but I have accepted my lot in life. It doesn’t matter. I have been blessed with a wonderful family; wonderful children.

If it is as I suspect, I don’t blame you. I did love you. I would have continued loving you.  I will always remember you and the time we spent together, and what may have been. I will take that to my grave.