Live long and prosper. It's what Spock tells those he likes and cares about, if a Vulcan can care about anyone. But, how long of a life is enough? Many of my close friends know of the story that I tell about eating lunch one afternoon during a lull, while waiting for my load of milk to fill up. I was eating in a quiet restaurant when four women came in and sat a booth not all that far from mine. They were all elderly, but one was noticeably more so than the other three. Well, the one was the mother of the other, and the other two were friends of the daughter. Does that make sense? Good. Anyhow, the friends were speaking of the wonderful day they were having and the one friend asked the mother what her and her friends do. This is the real kicker. The mother deadpanned back to the friend that all of her friends were dead and that she had no one her own age to spend time with or enjoy life with. She went on to tell how she had no one that experienced the same things in the world as her relative to her age. She said that she felt all alone. Well, that stifled the conversation pretty good, and the subject was soon changed and no more was mentioned about the mother and her friends.
I never had thought of that before. It's sort of like always looking at the glass as being either half full or half empty. What if the glass is twice as large as it needs to be? Is it possible to live too long? Maybe it's a state of mind, but I think it is. We all know the need for socialization. It's a basic need that seems programmed into us. Granted, there are a few mountain men that like to be alone, and many of us would do well to oblige them. However, there have been studies where children who have been isolated from their peers have shown signs of mental retardation. Of course those cases are extreme, but it points out that we need people. We are a social lot, us human beings. We also tend to “hang” with those that are generally our own age and those with similar interests and upbringings. I challenge you to find me a 25 year old pacifist who hangs out and enjoys the time they spend with a 50 year old bigoted skin head. The mother's lament therefore, in my book, is a valid one.
My grandfather was born in 1921 and is an independent sort of fellow. He fought in WWII and worked well into retirement, and still is in pretty good shape for his age. However, I get phone calls from family members who say that Grandpa is depressed and doesn't think that he's going to live much longer. Really? I wonder why? I ask this in jest. Good Lord, the man's wife is dead, and has been for 12 ½ years. Most of his siblings are dead, most of his friends are dead. He isn't out there “living” life anymore as health and money problems keep him from “living” his life. He probably doesn't know what the hell to do anymore. What does he have to work for anymore? Does he need to buy a house, raise his children, or need to have that fancy car? Where would he go with his fancy car if he did buy one, the cemeteries to visit his friends? He does care about us, his family, but he no longer has any contemporaries. The man is cut off from what made him who he was for all of those years.
Grandma, his wife, on the other hand, she lived to be 67 years old and died in poor health. She was the first of her siblings to die. She didn't see any of her children die before her, she still had friends that were alive, and went out while the getting was good. She never sat there lamenting that all of her friends and family were gone. She still had contemporaries left alive when she died and her main concerns were for her health. While her health battles dragged her down enough that I think she gave up to some extent, she had a reason to continue living. If Grandpa becomes ill, I'm afraid that he'll give up because he will feel like it's time to go join his friends.
With that in mind, I have decided that I don't want to live to be old. I'm not cut out to be the last one at the party, the one to turn out the lights. That's not for me. I'm more the type who wants to go home early and remember the party as a happening time with all of my friends and family. Granted, going now at age 32 would be premature. I have children to raise. But, once they are raised and got families of their own, God can call me home any time after that. I will always make sure to make my peace with those that I care about because you never know when your time comes. I just pray that I don't die a horrible death. No, I don't wish to live long at all. I wish to live just long enough. So if Spock were to give me his blessing, he could say, “Eric, live long enough and prosper.” That would suffice me just fine.
